I feel anxiety when I think about work. That can't be a good thing. I hate bringing work at home. I wish I could do it all there and do a good job of it too. I feel little when I see teachers walk in Monday morning with bill-board lessons and I'm walking in with a small bag of unchecked papers. I don't like lesson planning. Its not exciting for me anymore. Testing pressures has made it so mundane. No one shares teaching ideas and if I ask about it, I'm the "odd one out". Few reach out and share ideas. Everyone is stuck in a rut. I hate it. It doesn't matter how much I plan and how much effort I put into planning, the scores are not going to change. I am dreading the results.
I used to have energy. Enthusiasm. I couldn't wait to get up and see my little rascals. Now there is no excitement. Dreadful. Dealing with dead end behavior, no positive support or pat on the back...I'm begining to hate my job.